This entry is one of nine that I wrote in roughly 8 hours and over a 28 hour period. I apologise for the quality of writing, but had to type furiously to get it all out before I collapsed. I preferred you read it in order:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 I went to the room with the kitchen and knocked until they opened the door.“Did Zodiac come looking for me?”
Candy, who opened the door for me, shrugged. Kerri, half awake and cranky answered.
“He came knocking on the door at some odd hour in the morning, but nobody got up to open the door.”
From bits and pieces of sleepy conversation and missed calls on my cell phone, I managed to piece together the events of the night before.
Kerri, Harry, and Rum, who I had left playing cards, eventually retired from the game just before one in the morning. Kerri came to her room and went to sleep. Zodiac woke up shortly after this and was asking for me. He called both of my phones at just after twenty past one in the morning. Kris called Kerri asking her where I was because Zodiac was looking for me, which would have meant that he had checked my room already and knew I was not there. Kerri could not remember what she told him in her sleepy state. Then Zodiac came banging on the door looking for me, but THANK THE GOD WHICH DOES NOT EXIST, they did not open the door, or else I would have been completely unaccounted for, and there would only be one place left where I could have possibly been – where I actually was.
“Listen, guys,” I said, “if anyone asks, I spent the night, here.”
They all agreed.
Shortly after, Zodiac knocked on our door and opened it. He looked the same way he looked the night we went Shade.
“Listen…” and he steupsed and shook his head, “I don’t know what the fuck going on, but I heading out. When you all see me, it would have to be on the port.”
He slammed the door.
I looked at Candy, and cursed under my breath.
I called him.
“Where are you going?”
“Out. Why did you go the next way when you saw me?”
I said the first thing out of my mouth, the most obvious and stupid lie.
“Because that is the way I came. I only spent two minutes in there, I swear.”
He hung up the phone. And I cursed under my breath again. I only had one of my phones on me – the bmobile. Zodiac’s phone was Digicel, and as of yet, the two networks can only call each other, but not send texts. I felt the need to send a text. I walked over to my room, and on my way there, saw that Zodiac’s car was still there. I did not go into the Penis Room, but went straight to mine, to get my Digicel cell phone. I sent him this text:
“i walked the other way because when i saw you i felt like i did something and i got scared. i knew it would have been better if i went to my room but i walked anyway. sorry for lying.”
Then I walked back to the room with the kitchen. Five minutes later, Zodiac appeared, acting as if he never said anything about driving to the port. He did not talk to me at first, instead he spoke to the others, talking about breakfast. Finally, he addressed me:
“You called me?”
“No. I sent you a couple texts.”
“Okay,” he said. And that was it. It was like he never saw me emerge from that room.
I did not feel like eating breakfast, so I returned to my room while they cooked. Mae was up, and she pulled me towards my bed, which was in its separate area in the room.
“I spent the night in Kris’ room,” she said.
“Okay…” I said.
“We had sex.”
I stared at her. She stared at me. The words did not register. This was the same girl I had known for almost four years, and during that entire time, she was adamant about not engaging in pre-marital sex. It was only through my subtle influence and also that of her cousin that she started engaging in fornication – mild stuff, but stuff nonetheless. She called me B, for BJ, because she knew I knew how to give one. Hell, the fucking day before, she said:
“The worst thing I ever did was have you for a friend, Tiragem.” A testament to my promiscuity and influence. “If I did not promise myself I would not have pre-marital sex, who knows what I would be doing.”
And here she was, a day later, saying that she had given it up to our good friend’s brother.
She was fine, and did not regret what she did, and I considered those two to be the most important things. I made my confession involving The Syrian, and that was that. During the course of the next half an hour, we pulled each other into a corner to reveal other important bits of information relating to the prior night that we thought the other should know. She shared that Rum and Harry had walked in on them in the act, among other things, but she was not certain whether they knew what they were doing.
Later I found out that Rum and Harry were not fools, and knew what went on, this was through guarded conversations held in a car on our way to find steering fluid. Zodiac, Candy, Harry, and I went out at some point as well, in search of onion bread. We found the former, but not the latter.
Even before we went on those trips, Candy and I leaned on the balcony that faced the parking lot and driveway of the resort. I talked about what I had done the night before, neatly omitting the part where his dick was in my mouth. During that conversation, we saw The Syrian. He was leaving to go his restaurant.
Candy: “He did not look that hot last night, but now in the day time and with him wearing more clothes, I can see he is pretty good looking.”
Me: “He’s beautiful.”
I sent him a text about ten minutes later:
“I saw you off. I hope you have a good day.”
I sent it ten minutes later because it took me ten minutes to decide what to say, and that was all I could come up with.
He did not respond. About an hour later, while I was driving in the car with Harry, Zodiac and Candy, with me in the front seat, my phone was ringing. The Syrian’s name came up. I declined the call; Zodiac was right next to me. I sent him another text.
“Can’t talk.”
When we returned, I occupied myself packing and then making sure that everyone else was packing and organising themselves so that we would return the rooms to the resort before midday, lest I face an extra charge of TTD 1,050 (USD 170, GBP 105).
After that, I was in a daze. I barely spoke. I barely smiled. I spent most of the time staring out of the window and into space. In the port, I sat in a corner, waiting to enter the boat, quiet. A few of the guys asked me if I was okay. I looked sad and forlorn, they said. I shook my head to indicate I was fine. But I was not. I missed The Syrian. I wanted to go back. I wanted to spend another night in his arms.
When we boarded the boat, which was delayed for over an hour, I went immediately to sleep, and did not wake up until we had docked in Trinidad, two and a half hours later. I lie. I did wake up once, when I got a text from him.
“i hope you reach safe.i missing you.”
Stepping into the port in Trinidad, facing the late evening sun as it disappeared behind the familiar sight of Port-of-Spain, I felt like reality had spat in my eyes and slapped me across the face. I did not want to be here. I wanted to be in The Syrian’s bed. But I trudged on anyway, maintaining my silence, and speaking pleasantly, but only when spoken to. I was the first drop off, living the closest to the port as I was. I hugged Kerri, Candy, and patted Kris on the arm when I left the car. Zodiac told me he would call me later. Then I trudged on home.