The following is text messages sent between myself and Ant from Tuesday mid-morning to Sunday night... Several texts have been omitted for the sake of clarity, confidentiality, and time constraints...
Me: The last line of stinkfist -> 'shoulders deep inside the borderline. Turn around and TAKE MY HAND.' I feel every orifice clenching.
Ant: U do? A bit enticing u find?
Me: As easy as i'm sure it would make childbirth and/or diarrhea, the most i'd take is your finger. Then again, long enough, you might turn me into a freak soon.
Ant: I might turn YOU 2 a freak! Ha ha. U not little miss innocent u know. But u like my freakiness dont u hot girl
Me: Well i admit that there was something about having your cock in my mouth while your chain was wrapped around my wrists. No lie. You can really turn me on.
Ant: Wanna put u kneel down with ur hands in cold chains .U got me pretty hot 2. Damn u hav sum good oral skills.i think my fingers are skillful enough for every orifice.
Me: I want you to do that and so much more. Damn. I almost feel like letting go and having a hyper-sexual relationship with you. Almost. It would be insane though.
Ant: It would b out of d world.but i'm not forcing u to do anything u dont want to. Take ur time. I'm ur friend 2 . I want u to b comfortable. But it will be soooooo fuckin good. Lol
Me: You know, sometimes you say some really thoughtful things. And I wonder if you're being sincere or if you're trying to get into my panties. It's working.
Ant: I am being very sincere. Take all the time u need. U want me keep my fingers and cock to myself? No scene
Me: So (if i had the will power) we can go out a lot while remaining platonic and it'd be cool? Cuz i do like you for more than your fingers, believe it or not.
Ant: Damn. I really thought it was the fingers. Lol. We already go out a lot and i'm sure we enjoy more than just fingers and so on. In fact we could hav a good lime fingersless. We hav sumtings in common. Its just that horniness is one of them. Who fault is dat?
Me: Hm... There you go with the thoughtful things again. Well, it's true though. Cause i feel the same way. Anyways i talk to you later.
-
Ant: I knockout again. Sorry student teacher girl
Me: You wake up some odd hours in the morning too. And it's cool.
Ant: I actually heard the phone beep somehow.hope u studied hard young lady
Me: Or maybe you just wake up this hour to jerk off. I wanted too. My mom been bothering me whole night to help my bro. No privacy and less time to study.
Ant: I didnt intend 2 but men are horniest in da morning.So did u? Or ur pussy still tingling?
Me: Didn't do anything. It's throbbing now.
Ant: Maybe it should b throbbing between my fingers or my mouth. Pull those panties off and tell me ur wetness
Me: Wetter than i thought. Lips are wet, and it started leaking towards my ass. But don't want to touch anything. Wanna wait for you.
Ant: Hmm. Lubricating ur ass with pussy juice? Damn.Well i guess i'll leave my hard cock alone. It would prefer a hot mouth on it anywaY
Me: Yeah it would. I'm gonna try to sleep now. If my fingers start roaming, call you?
Ant: Only if ur fingers are wet. Sleep tight
-
Ant: Guess u slept off the throb last nite
Me: Actually, i woke up an hour later and rubbed it off. Considered calling you but figured you'd be asleep by then.
Ant: Hmm. Hope i gave u inspiration! Lol
Me: You're the reason i did it! If that's what you mean.
Ant: Yea that's wat i mean kinky coa coa.
Me: Kinky coa coa? HAHA! That's fucking hilarious. You have to be a song writer to come up with this stuff?
Ant: That's what i am. In addition to skilful guitarist and ultra horny kinky and freaky. Lol
-
Ant: I wonder who dat is
Me: Here are some hints. He's a hot coolie with 3 hickies [given by yours truly - that was discussed in an earlier conversation] who's amazing on the guitar. Heard he could play football too but that could be just a rumour.
Ant: You forgot that he loves to make a doubtful sexy nigga girl get wet and cum like crazy
Me: Completely lost my concentration for a moment there... But... umm... right... I somehow left that part out.
Ant: You didnt get wet by any chance there hotness?
Me: I been wet whole day, ant.
Ant: Jeez. Yuh make a indian want to do sumtin bout dat
Me: Maybe that's the intention.
Ant: Hmm. Weekend again? Ur pussy can stay wet dat long or is serious urges?
Me: Once I see you, I'll be ready. Tease me first - make beg for it - and you'll see how wet i'll get.
Ant: Well since we're in a teasing mood .i want u to picture me tying ur hands, sticking a wet finger in ur pussy, a lubricated finger in ur ass and sucking and licking ur fat juicy clit. Maybe u'll get a hot cock as a bonus
Me: This is sooooo not the time to be telling me these things. I can actually feel juice running down my pussy. We'll talk on such things later.
-
Ant: Slept well?
Me: Yeah. But not long. Had to wake up early to get to work for 7.15. Didn't realise you had me on the phone so long. You slept well i'm sure.
Ant: Of course. Twas late and i was tired
-
Me: Fell asleep last night, huh? Good thing. Was in a bad mood last night, plus i'm at work already so i didn't get enough sleep even with you calling.
Ant: Why u was in a bad mood?
Me: Work stress. School stress. Lack of sleep stress. And having to give up my studying to tutor my brother.
Ant: Poor u. I know wat u need
Me: You're about to pull my leg. I can already feel it... What do I need?
Ant: A good beat out. Lol
Me: Haha. Who will do the honours for me?
Ant: U not ready yet for d beatin. U settle for oralisation
Me: That was my laugh for the morning. And, yes... I trust your infinite wisdom.
Ant: Dont trust my wisdom nah. It does go ballistic due to horniness sumtimes. Lol
Me: Yeah. I know your tendency to think with your little head instead of the big one. Not that i mind too much.
-
Ant: Yo. I was. Wad up?
Me: All sorts of stuff... You woke me up.
Ant: All sorts of wat?
Me: Nothing particularly interesting. Maybe i bore you with it next time we talk.
-
Me: Ever heard about jointpop?
Ant: Yes. I heard about jointpop. Sorry bout d late reply. Was in d weddin. Sleepin?
Me: Ah. That's right... The wedding. And i'm fully awake. Studying.
Ant: On sat? Very commendable
Me: Actually I usually study everyday. I'd go out but turned people down this time... Just got a text from someone telling me i'm missing out. How was the wedding?
Ant: Weddin was real nice. Now i'm high! Damn
Me: Glad to hear that the quality of the wedding was defined by the quantity of alcohol in your system.
Ant: No relation really u kno.the weddin itself was flawless. Everything was on time and well organised. My state was really not a factor.
Me: ^_^ i was only kidding, sweetie. No need to sound so serious. Glad to hear it came off smoothly. Some weddings don't. Indian wedding?
Ant: Na. Catholic. U studyin right thru? Or u need a break on sunday?
Me: Alas. There is disparity between what i should do and what i want to do...
Ant: Dont want to fuck up ur program but i've got alot of break to offer. Lol
Me: Haha. I know you do. Can i tell you by tomorrow?... And I wonder what you're so busy doin...
Ant: U wanna kno? Tom is monday eh. Keep me a-breast
Me: Haha. You are so... Yeah. i was now gonna tell you to enjoy your night. Thought you had fallen asleep. Guess i'm wrong?
Ant: yea think i'm gonna sleep. Might consider watchin a wicked porn tho. Lol
Me: Well whatever you do, have fun. I'm clearing my bed so i can go sleep now myself.
Ant: Control ur fingers eh
Me: Why? So that if i see you later today i won't be able to control anything else?
Ant: I wasnt thinkin bout that but going point. Lol
Me: Of course. Well i'm going to bed now, and as you know, you're free to call whenever you want. Until then... Night night.
Ant: Gnite.
Me: Yes. I'll go out with you. After class. After five-six-ish.
Ant: Wat inspired that decision. Were u misbehaving for the last few minutes?
Me: Far from. Was half asleep. Just don't want to wait another week before seeing you again.
Ant: Wat a nice thing to say. Good nite and sweet dreams.
Me: Only said it because it's true. U2.
-
Me: He you. Forgot about another family gathering?
Ant: No. But i forgot i had a favour to do for one of my friends. Call me
Ant: Hey. Cant make 2nite. Durin da week?
Me: Figured as much. Got class tues, wed, thurs. Babysit on friday. Only leaves tom or next week...
Ant: We'll c. Class first.ass after. Lol. Talk later hotty.
Me: Ok.
-
Relationships should be characterised by mutuality if they are to work. I feel the mutuality slipping between myself and Ant. My fault. I hope these feelings are short-lived.
The Syrian told me he did something bad - he fucked someone else. He said he doesn't want to lose me...
"You are my favourite girl..."
But he cannot stay long without sex.
I have met someone who is startlingly like me - I believe I have mentioned him before. Welsh, I might have called him. He has rekindled in me the desire to continue writing a book I haven't touched in years. I want to start writing again. As soon as I get the time.
The strength of my fragmented and confusing emotions in the wake of all that is happening in my life is serving only to fan this desire to write. As soon as I get the time.
I feel... I have felt worse... but knowing past feelings, the thought does little to mollify.