I stole this off of Gnomad's diary. He'll probably be reading this eventually since I'm scheduled to be reviewed by his web site. I shall fully understand any points deducted for trying to be an arse kisser. Anyways... Here it is.
WHAT DO YOU CALL...
The basics: I'm from Trinidad… which is going to make this pretty interesting… you guys are going to meet Trini colloquialism…
A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks: a dry river
What the thing you push around the grocery store is called: Stolen merchandise… wait no… A trolley
A metal container to carry a meal in: A lunch box.
The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in: A temporary storage area for cardiac arrest… or a frying pan.
The piece of furniture that seats three people: A couch.
The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof: A spouting (I’m Trini damn it!)
The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening: The porch.
Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages: Sweet drink (pronounced sweedrink) or soft drink. You say “soda” in Trinidad, the only thing you getting is club soda.
A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup: Pancakes… and I don’t touch ‘em.
A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself: An overprice subway sandwich.
The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach: Speedos! And the only guys who wear ‘em are in need of a weed whacker.
Shoes worn for sports: Sneakers.
Putting a room in order: An unexpected visit from an acquaintance.
A flying insect that glows in the dark: A firefly.
The little insect that curls up into a ball: A millipede? Fuck… I dunno…
The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down: A see-saw (and a good way to get rid of my brother if correctly positioned on a cliff)
How do you eat your pizza? Sometimes I eat it crust first… Sometimes I eat it the “normal” way… I let it cool now though… I’m tired of practising the inward-blow.
What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff? Yard sale, I guess. We don’t got that shit in Trinidad.
What's the evening meal? Dinner.
The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are? Basement. Another rarity in this country.
What word(s) do you use to address a group of two or more people? I say y’all… though in Trinidad… the correct expression is “all yuh”.
Would you say "Are you coming with?" as a full sentence, to mean "Are you coming with us?" Only if I bit my tongue saying the “th” in “with” and was in too much pain to continue.
Would you say "where are you at?" to mean "where are you?" Occasionally.
Modals are words like "can," "could," "might," "ought to," and so on. Can you use more than one modal at a time? (e.g., "I might could do that" to mean "I might be able to do that"; or "I used to could do that" to mean "I used to be able to do that") Maybe after severe brain damage. Or maybe I do it when I’m speaking Spanish.
Does saying something costs "A Buck Forty Eleven" count? Come again?
What do you call the area of grass between the sidewalk and the road? Something dem CEPEP workers ha’ to clean.
What do you call the area of grass that occurs in the middle of some streets? De govament an dem not pavin de dam road until election time com roun’. (Why the sudden need to speak dialect?)
What do you call the long narrow place in the middle of a divided highway? That thing in the centre of the road.
What do you call the drink made with milk and ice cream? A milkshake. Something I’ve only had once in my entire life. Ha!
What do you call the miniature lobster that one finds in lakes and streams for example (a crustacean of the family Astacidae)? I hated biology…
What do you call the kind of spider (or spider-like creature) that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs? Eh?
What nicknames do/did you use for your maternal grandmother? Gran.
What about your paternal grandmother (is there a distinction?) Gran.
What do/did you call your maternal grandfather? Grandpa.
Paternal grandfather? Grandpa. (Is there a pattern there, or is it just me?)
What do you call the big clumps of dust that gather under furniture and in corners? Something I ain’t going to clean till my mother notices it and makes me. I call it dust!
What term do you use to refer to something that is across both streets from you at an intersection (or diagonally across from you in general)? That’s the most confusing question I heard whole day. Like Gnomad, I’d probably point… although with directions like that… I have no fucking idea which direction I’m pointing in.
What do you call the activity of driving around in circles in a car? A drive by waiting to happen.
What do you call paper that has already been used for something or is otherwise imperfect? Scrap.
What is your *general* term for a big road that you drive relatively fast on? Every road in the fucking country. But if I had to pick… probably the highway.
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining? The devil and his wife quarreling.
When you are cold, and little points of skin begin to come on your arms and legs, you have: Goosebumps.
What do you call the gooey or dry matter that collects in the corners of your eyes, especially while you are sleeping? Yampee. (I’m a Trini damn it!)
What do you call an easy course? Pelau… or to be extremely Trini… suckeye!
What do you call a traffic situation in which several roads meet in a circle and you have to get off at a certain point? I have no fucking clue what that is… A turnoff? Is this something that Trinidad doesn’t have… or am I just terrible with directions and roads and driving and shit… I am female after all…
What is the thing that women use to tie their hair? I call it a woogie.
Do you use the word cruller? I might if I knew what “cruller” was/meant.
Do you use the term "bear claw" for a kind of pastry? Nope.
What do you call someone who is the opposite of pigeon-toed (i.e. when they walk their feet point outwards)? A ballerina.
Can you call coleslaw "slaw"? Nope.
What do you call the box you bury a dead person in? A coffin.
Do you say "vinegar and oil" or "oil and vinegar" for the type of salad dressing? I don’t think I’ve ever used either expression. I don’t put that shit on my salad anyways.
What do you call it when a driver changes over one or more lanes way too quickly? A bad drive. (I’m serious… we say… “Da man gih meh a bad drive boy!”)
When you stand outside with a long line of people waiting to get in somewhere, are you standing "in line" or "on line" (as in, "I stood ___ in the cold for two hours before they opened the doors")? In line… I always thought “on line” referred to the internet.
Do you say "frosting" or "icing" for the sweet spread one puts on a cake? Icing.
What is "the City"? Port-of-Spain.
What is the distinction between dinner and supper? Mainly the spelling… but we mainly say “dinner”… We say supper only when we’re trying to be hoity-toity.
Do you cut or mow the lawn or grass? Cut de bush. I do not have a lawnmower. When my father wants to cut de bush… he uses a cutlass (AKA a 3canal).
Do you pass in homework or hand in homework? Hand up.
What do you call the insect that looks like a large thin spider and skitters along the top of water? I really shouldn’t have missed that trip to the insect farm.
What do you call the thing from which you might drink water in a school? A cooler (which the students bring with them). We don’t have water fountains at school. You can buy bottled water in the cafeteria for $3.00 (US 50 cents, 30 pence)
What do you call a public railway system (normally underground)? Something the government will never build… In the US… I believe they call it the subway.
What do you call the act of covering a house or area in front of a house with toilet paper? American Halloween stuff… or politely saying that you think everyone in the house is shitongs.
What do you call a traffic jam caused by drivers slowing down to look at an accident or other diversion on the side of the road? Rubbernecking… And my neck is sore.
What vowel do you use in bag? Is that a trick question? An A?
What do you call the paper container in which you might bring home items you bought at the store? Bag.
What do you call the night before Halloween? Hallow’s Eve?
What do you call the end of a loaf of bread? The End – with capital letters - Property of the parents. They never let me near it and they constantly fight over it.
What do you call a point that is purely academic, or that cannot be settled and isn't worth discussing further? Any conversation with Mark… And honestly… I didn’t know the exact meaning of “moot” until Gnomad (who I stole this from) wrote it.
How do you pronounce the -sp- sequence in "thespian" A fucking R… “Sp” of course.
What do you call a drive-through liquor store? The last stop before the emergency room.
What do you call food that you buy at a restaurant but then eat at home? Takeout.
What do you say when you want to lay claim to the front seat of a car? Shotgun!
What word do you use for gawking at someone in a lustful way? Starin’ down.
Do you say "expecially", or "especially"? What’s with this misplaced letters and poor pronoucniation? eSpecially
Thanks for making me realise how fucked up the Trini language can be.